You look fine from the outside. Inside, you're working the whole time.
Watching how you're coming across. Editing what you're about to say before you say it. Replaying it the moment the conversation moves on.
If being around people costs you that much effort, this page explains what is going on and what can be done about it.
“My anxiety/blushing has stopped. Well, I'm not aware of it anymore.”
– B.B., client
Clem Kelleher, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Psychologist (MSc Psychology). In person in Limerick, or online anywhere in Ireland.
When people come to me with social anxiety, it usually looks like some of these.
If two or three of those are familiar, keep reading.
â–¶ Watch: does this sound like you? (2 minutes)
Social anxiety is a strong, automatic fear response to situations where you might be noticed, judged or put on the spot.
It is more than shyness. A shy person warms up after a while. With social anxiety the dread starts before the event, your body reacts during it (racing heart, blushing, shaky voice, a mind gone blank), and the replaying carries on long after. Over time people start avoiding the situations altogether, and life gets smaller.
You may also see it called social phobia or social anxiety disorder. It is one of the most common anxiety problems, and it has nothing to do with your intelligence, your ability or how likeable you are.
▶ Watch: what social anxiety is (1½ minutes)
Social anxiety doesn't come out of nowhere. The feeling is a response, and every response has a trigger. The trigger is a particular kind of moment: eyes turning towards you, a pause where you're expected to speak, walking into a room where people already know each other.
At some point your mind learned to treat that moment as a threat. Now it reacts before you've had a chance to think. That is why telling yourself to calm down doesn't work, and why you can know perfectly well that nothing bad will happen and still feel it. The reaction is faster than your reasoning.
It is also why avoiding things makes it worse. Each time you cancel and feel the relief, your mind takes that as proof the threat was real.
A response that was learned can be changed. Between the trigger and the feeling there is a space, and that space is where I work.
I don't work on your anxiety as a whole. I work on the specific moment where the automatic response takes over.
In the first session we find that moment: what sets it off for you, and what your mind does next. Then, using hypnosis together with the psychological tools I bring as a psychologist, we change the response at the level where it runs. Hypnosis here means a focused, relaxed state. You're awake, you hear everything, and you're in control throughout.
When that moment changes, what surrounds it tends to change with it: the dread beforehand, the monitoring during, the replaying after.
Most people notice a difference after the first session. In my experience, most clients see a significant improvement within three to five sessions, and we review how you are doing after each one.
▶ Watch: how I work with social anxiety (2½ minutes)
I'm Clem Kelleher, a clinical hypnotherapist and psychologist based in Corbally, Limerick. I hold an MSc in Psychology from the University of Derby. I'm a certified member of the National Guild of Hypnotists, a Graduate Member of the Psychological Society of Ireland and a Graduate Member of the British Psychological Society.
I've worked as a professional hypnotherapist since 2010. Anxiety is the main thing I work with: social anxiety, panic attacks, fear of public speaking and confidence.
Anxiety and Other Uncomfortable Feelings: Five Facts About Your Anxiety and How to Overcome It
What anxiety is, how the feeling is created, and a method you can use yourself, with ten real-life stories from clients.
“I used to suffer very badly with a lack of confidence. My job is very demanding and as most people I work with are male, it can be quite intimidating when I found myself in situations that were confrontational. I attended 3 sessions with Clem and he helped me to understand that my problem had nothing to do with the people I worked with, that it was all about how I saw myself in those situations. With his help I retrained my mind to think and feel differently about myself in those situations and in my life generally. That was almost six months ago and I haven't looked back since.”
– N.K., Co. Clare
“It's a weight lifted off my shoulder … I feel a bit more confident in myself, and I feel every day is getting a bit better.”
– David
First session
Best value after your first session. You save €100.
In my experience, most clients see a significant improvement within three to five sessions. That's why, after your first session, you can book a block of three for €350.
What the research says: across 17 clinical trials, the average person treated with hypnosis ended up less anxious than about 79% of people in the comparison groups. At the longest follow-up that rose to about 84% (Valentine et al., 2019, International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis).
Sessions are in person at Celtic Hypnosis, Corbally, Limerick, or online. Both work the same way. To book, send me a message on WhatsApp. I reply myself, answer any questions, and we find a time.
These fees do not cover the stop smoking program, which is priced separately.
Yes, for many people. Social anxiety runs on an automatic response, and hypnotherapy works directly on that response instead of asking you to push through it. A 2019 analysis of 17 clinical trials found that the average person treated with hypnosis ended up less anxious than about 79% of people in the comparison groups (Valentine et al., 2019). Those trials covered anxiety in general, not social anxiety alone. The same analysis found hypnosis worked better combined with other psychological approaches than on its own, which is how I work.
In my experience, most clients see a significant improvement within three to five sessions. Some people need fewer. We look at how you are after each session and decide from there. If you want to keep going after your first session, a block of three more sessions costs €350.
We talk through what happens for you and when, until we've pinned down the trigger. Then I guide you into hypnosis and we work on the response to that trigger. You leave knowing what we did and why.
Yes. Hypnosis is a state of focused attention, a bit like being absorbed in a film. You hear everything, you remember it, and you can stop at any point.
No. Counselling and CBT work mainly through talking and conscious practice. I work on the automatic response itself. Plenty of my clients have tried talking therapy first, and what they learned there still stands to them.
No, you can contact me directly. If you take medication for anxiety, keep taking it as prescribed and talk to your GP before changing anything.
Yes. Online and in-person sessions work the same way. I'll send you simple instructions for setting up at home.
That is normal with social anxiety, and it is the reason I use WhatsApp. You don't have to ring anyone. Send a short message, even just the words "social anxiety", and I'll take it from there.
Send me a message on WhatsApp and tell me, in a line or two, what's going on for you. I'll reply myself.
